Sex, Money, & Power …Shhhh! Can you keep a secret???


Sex, Money, & Power

Are your employees having sex on your dime? Of course they are! What is it about successful executives that bring out the very primal sexual and deviant behavior in the most intelligent and sophisticated species on the planet.  The office place is a breeding ground for short steamy love affairs. I just don’t get it! There is nothing necessarily romantic about the average workplace:  Bright lights to keep you awake, cubicles with very little privacy, commercial grade carpet tiles and a few offices for the select few who make the reins of management.  The space itself is quite boring. So, I determined, it is not the space, but the people who inhabit the space that bring it to life. Human nature. That tangible asset that longs for acceptance, approval, validation, gratitude and sex. If they can get all at the same time that would be nice. We give way too much credit to people.  This is why the office has given birth to some of the hottest love affairs of the century! I have several executive clients who ask my professional advice on this topic all the time.  I’m not saying that I know about this topic personally, but I may know a little something:). The story follows the same pattern: Traveling first class with the “Office Beau”, dinners at the finest restaurants, and 5 days of love-making sessions at 5 star hotels after work.  Who wouldn’t fall victim to this kind of corporate pressure. I call this the long-term employee welfare benefit they don’t discuss in new employee orientation. It just kinda comes with the job as you move up in rank. Initially, this phenomena can be seen as  benefit for some, but more than often can create a pattern of emotional turmoil for the executive and his family.

Sex, Money & Power the wake up call!

At some point, there seems to be a knock at the door of your conscious that says, “I’m in too deep; how do I get out of this? That pivot in thinking is usually generated by the lovers request to expose the relationship, take things a step further, promote them to a position they can’t perform or some other crazy request that made the executive say, “Are you out of your mind?” They then ask me, “How do I get out of this? My question back to them is, “How did you get into it literally? They respond, “I don’t know.” She is not that fine, she is not in my ethnic group, he’s a cheater, he has been with other women in the office, blah, blah, blah. But at the end of the day, you can’t stand to be without them. Most of the time it is  sexual energy that is ignited by leaders being on the winning team. We all want a part of the success and influence that comes with successful people. I have a 5 step process to get you out of this situation: You got it bad, so I added two more steps for you:)

  • Put God first. What would God tell you to do in this situation?
  • Put your family second.
  • PUT YOUR PAYCHECK THIRD (Your spouse, girlfriend/boyfriend will usually stay with you if they find out, but they are going to be furious if you lose your job!
  • Put the other persons professional interest and career first ( We know what is in their best personal interest and that is to be with you right!)
  • Create distance and space. Stop sex, text and all forms of communication outside of work. (The withdrawal phase detoxing your system. This is never a fun period.
  • Consider your professional career image.
  • Check the company policy on workplace dating. (Probably should have done this first)

The office romance usually ends in one of the three scenario(s):

1) They divorce their respective spouses, date a few years, get married and live happily ever after. (This is very rare, but I’ve seen it happen.)

2) Someone’s significant other finds out and sets it off on the job! ( Can someone say call security!) I’ve seen this scenario way too many times and it is not a pretty sight.

3) Cooler heads prevail and the relationship just fizzles over time. (I would say this is the norm.)

To avoid the above situation take my grandfather’s advice: “Don’t get your money and your honey out of the same pot.”